This blog is about my life with a chronic and progressive illness. I hope to share a realistic look on life as a medically complex person to help raise awareness and let others know that they are not alone.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is facing some type of battle." - T.H. Thompson
I think we can all remember a time when someone said we couldn't do something. Or that we wouldn't succeed. Or maybe you had the task of trying to reassure someone that they could do something, after someone else had told them otherwise. Some people might tell you to ignore what people say, but there is a different option you can go with instead of ignoring them and this one can help you to your goal too.
"Don't give up just because of what someone said. Use that as motivation to push harder." - Unknown. There is another quote I read somewhere that went something like this, "Nothing feels better than doing what others say you cannot." Now please do not take these quotes to mean you can not listen to the rules, doctors or your parents. I do not mean it in that sense. I mean it in the sense that if someone says you can't reach a goal, use that as a reason to push yourself harder.
For example, if a teacher tells you that you could never publish a book but you know that is what you want to, don't let them stop you. It is disheartening and can make you think twice about yourself and your abilities when someone tells you that you won't make it or can't accomplish something.
But here is a different way you can look at what they tell you. Motivation. What better way to prove to this person that you can make it and do something they say you cannot than actually doing it? But please remember that when you do accomplish what they say you cannot, there is no need to brag or rub it in their face. You making it and doing what people said you cannot is proof enough that they were wrong about you.
If people say that you'll never amount to anything, try anyways. If someone tells you that you won't get into the college of your dreams, try anyways. Do what they say you can't. Use it as motivation to push harder and reach your goal.
I'm sure that we have all heard the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I have not always believed this saying. When I was a kid, I took it literally and that's where my confusion first came from. How could have CHD and Pulmonary Hypertension make me stronger if it actually makes my body so weak? Reason number one why I didn't believe it. Then I got older, and I realized it was a metaphor. It meant once we went through the tough parts, we came out on the other side stronger emotionally. That we had survived. But there were times in my life when I didn't feel like I came out from the other side emotionally stronger. In fact I felt torn down, beaten and down right depressed. Reason number two why I didn't believe it. But then I got a little older and I saw that as I moved on from the things that happened to me and I became happy again, I was stronger. I had better coping mechanisms this time around. I knew who I could turn to when I needed help. I was better equipped to deal with the things going on in my life and it was harder for life to knock me down now than it was in the past. That's why I truly, whole heartily believe this saying. While you may not be strong right afterwards... eventually, you will be. May take a few months... or like me, years. But you will get there. You will be strong again. And you will be happy again.
Now this song is context to her boyfriend leaving her, but if you ignore that one part, you will see how this whole song can relate to the ups and downs we all face in life and how they can make us stronger; if we allow them to.
I have put in bold the parts of the song I think are the most inspirational.
"Stronger" Kelly Clarkson
You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in colour And do the things I want You think you got the best of me Think you had the last laugh Bet you think that everything good is gone Think you left me broken down Think that I'd come running back Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes afighter Footsteps even lighter Doesn't mean I'm over cause you'r gone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone You heard that I was starting over with someone new They told you I was moving on and over you You didn't think that I'd come back I'd come back swinging You try to break me What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter Doesn't mean I'm over cause you'r gone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone Thanks to you I got a new thing started Thanks to you I'm not a broken hearted You know in the end the day to left was just my beginning In the end... What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter Doesn't mean I'm over cause you'r gone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone When I'm alone
My mom sends me e-mails of anything she thinks I might like or love to use/talk about on my blog. So when she sent me this amazing story about a teacher who took the time to teach her kids about the effect of bullying, I knew in an instant that I had to share this with you. My mom found this story off of Facebook that someone had posted on a group called "Wipe Out Homophobia". There is no mention of gays or lesbians being bullied in this story, but as we all know - people of a different sexuality do get bullied which is why the women posted this story in this group. (Even if you do not agree with the gay life style, I think we can all agree that no one ever deserves to be bullied or made to feel less than human because of who they love).
After reading this story, I encourage you to do this exercise with your kids. This exercise will show them the lasting effects bullying can have on someone. Here is the story and the activity the teacher had her class do:
"A teacher in New York was
teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to
perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told... them to crumple
it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them
unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She
then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were
sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left
behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried
to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child, they may
say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of
the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. Pass it on or
better yet, if you're a parent or a teacher, do it with your child/children." Hope and Love, Becca
Alright, sorry this is a day late. However this is a song that I wrote. Sort of. I took a popular pop song called 'Tik Tok' by Ke$ha and I changed some of the words around so it talked about being in the hospital for open heart surgery. Now just to let you all know, the original song is about a girl getting drunk and partying all night. It has an amazing beat, but it is definietly not what I would consider inspiring. But it's upbeat so when it came up on my iPod when I had it on shuffle, I couldn't stop myself from changing some of the words around. Let me know what you think!
An edited version of "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha
Wake up in the mornin' feelin' really fatigued
Grab ma over-night bag I'm out the door I'm gonna hit the ICU Before I leave chug my medication 'Cuz when I leave for surgery I may not come back I'm talkin pulse ox on our toes toes Tryin on all the hospital gowns (gowns) nurses blowin' up our IVs (IVs) Relaxing to our favorite CD’s Goin up to the anesthesiologist Tryna get a little bit tipsy [CHORUS] Don't stop, make it work Doctor, blow my stents up Tonight, Im'ma fight Till we see the sunlight TiK ToK, on the clock But the surgery don't stop no Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh Don't stop, make it work Docor, blow my stents up Tonight, Im'ma fight Till we see the sunlight TiK ToK, on the clock But the surgery don't stop no Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh We gotta care, and got plenty of pain medicine Aint got no money in my pocket, but insurance is there Now, the doctors are lining up cause they wanna hear our irregular heart But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mc’Dreamy [CHORUS] Don't stop, make it work Doctor, blow my stents up Tonight, Im'ma fight Till we see the sunlight TiK ToK, on the clock But the surgery don't stop no Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh Don't stop, make it work Doctor, blow my stents up Tonight, Im'ma fight Till we see the sunlight TiK ToK, on the clock But the surgery don't stop no Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh [BRIDGE] You build me up You break me down My heart, it pounds Yeah, you got me With my hands up You got me now You got that stethoscope Yeah, you got me You build me up You break me down My heart, it pounds Yeah, you got me With my hands up Put your hands up Put your hands up Now, the surgery don't start till I get wheeled in [CHORUS] Don't stop, make it work Doctor, blow my stents up Tonight, Im'ma fight Till we see the sunlight TiK ToK, on the clock But the surgery don't stop no Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh Don't stop, make it work Doctor, blow my stents up Tonight, Im'ma fight Till we see the sunlight TiK ToK, on the clock But the surgery don't stop no Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh
"Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But its your choice to scream or enjoy the ride." - Unknown
You all had to have known one of these days I was going to use a quote using a roller coaster as a metaphor since roller coasters is something I really miss and would like to have back in my life. The first part of the quote, I'm sure we have all heard or seen at some point in our life. But the part of this quote that I really like is: "Your choice to scream or enjoy the ride." Now as a roller coaster junkie, let me say this, screaming on a roller coaster tends to help you enjoy it better. But for the sake of this metaphor, let us forget that part.
Screaming in this instance means putting up a fight. Instead of taking things as they come or rolling with the punches, you fight against it every step of the way. The ups and downs are going to be hard, no doubt about that. But what will screaming about it accomplish? What will fighting the changes do except tire you out?
Enjoy the ride. You may not always like what happens, but there has to be somethings along this bumpy road that you can enjoy and appreciate. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try and look at the positives. Is it hard to look up though when you're down? Of course. But you'll feel better the moment you let go and just start enjoying life and letting things come as they will. We can't control tomorrow, so why worry about it? We can't control many things in our lives, but we can control our happiness and how we choose to look at this life we've been given. Will you scream or will you enjoy it?
The
lead singer of the group I chose for this week’s inspirational song told people
at the Grammy’s last night that his group had been working hard and been up
until recently unknown for the past 12 years. And I think that their song ‘Carry
On’ probably means a lot to me in the sense that they never gave up. For 12
years, they continued on and they kept working until they got to where they are
today. So I wanted to share this song with you. No matter what is going on in your
life, carry on. Things may be hard now, but in order to get through the bad
times, you must keep going. You must carry on. My favorite post of the song is
the chorus:
"If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on”
May
your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground is a beautiful metaphor
that they use to tell people to just keep moving. Keep walking forward, away
from your past. Do not let it define you. Carry on. Keep going.
One
of the parts of the song that speaks to me beside the chorus is:
“So
I met up with some friends
At the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
About how our parents will die
Our neighbors and wives”
It’s
morbid, I know. But, my heart friends and I have talked more than once about
death, and how we know we are more likely to die young than our healthy friends
and family members. It scares us but when we talk about it, we are able to get
out our feelings about it. When we talk about it, we reassure each other that
we are not alone and that we all feel the same way about this topic.
So
the next time you’re feeling down, turn on this upbeat song and just “Carry On”.
Carry
On by FUN.
Well I woke up to the sound of silence
Cries cutting like knives in a fist fight
And I found you with a bottle of wine
Your head in the curtains
And heart like the Fourth of July
You swore and said
"We are not
We are not shining stars"
This I know
I never said we are
Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows
To know you can never look back
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
Carry on, carry on
So I met up with some friends
At the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
About how our parents will die
Our neighbours and wives
But I like to think
I can cheat it all
To make up for the times I've been cheated on
And it's nice to know
When I was left for dead
I was found and now I don't roam these streets
I am not the ghost you are to me
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
Whoa
My head is on fire
But my legs are fine
After all they are mine
Lay your clothes down on the
floorClose the door
Hold the phone
Show me how
No one’s ever gonna stop us tonight
'Cause we are
We are shining stars
We are invincible
We are who we are
On our darkest day
When we’re miles away
Sun will come
We will find our way home
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
Oooh.
Oooh
Oooh
Oooh
(No one's ever gonna stop us tonight)
(No one's ever, no one's ever gonna stop, no one's ever gonna stop us tonight)
(No one's ever, no one's ever gonna stop, no one's ever gonna stop, no one's
ever gonna stop us tonight)
Hope and Love, Becca - The video has a long musical intro for the song, you can fast forward through that if you'd like! Also, the comment section of my blog is now working. Just click the word 'Comment' and feel free to leave me a message!
This is the third post in my "The Emotional Roller Coaster We Go Through" blog post series.
As I said in the last post, the majority of the time hospital stays are planned due to surgeries and procedures. With that being said, planning happens behind the scenes that people may not even think about. The parents have to try and explain what is going to happen to not only the patient but their siblings as well. Answering hard questions and trying to reassure the patients and their siblings that things will be okay, while trying to reassure themselves that very thing as well. The coping process of what will happen and dealing with the fear of what could go wrong begins at this stage, and the fears don't subside until the patient is practically in the car headed back home from the hospital after their stay. Then there is the fact that the families have to find someone to watch over the house and the other kids while they spend nights at a hospital, whether its in the same state or out of state. If it is out of state, trying to find someone to drive the kids to school, pick them up, make sure they get fed, do their homework and all other parenting roles can be even more difficult since the parents will not be able to pitch in from however many miles they are away. On top of all that, the patient and their family may not be handling this news so well. When I was 12 years old and was told I needed another heart surgery, I threatened to lock myself in my room the day we had to leave for California to go get the surgery done. As I climbed into my parents' mini-van, my sisters stood beside the car in tears. One of them told my dad to let me stay home. And something that I never considered before when I was younger, was how bad the parents feel while their kids yell and plead with them to not make them have another surgery. Parents hide their own fear, they don't break down in front of the kids. They reassure them that things will be okay and are strong for the patients and the siblings, even though they have their own fears and doubts. Someone once told me when they had a loved one go through surgery for first time, "You think you know what it feels like... then it happens and you realize, you had no idea." And that is so true. The fear, the anxiety, the pressure, the planning, making sure things back home are organized and reassuring everyone else that things will be okay while on top of that trying to keep yourself from breaking down... it's more than what people imagine. But I hope that with the help of parents and patients who have a chronic or terminal illness, we can educate people and let them know just what it is like to be in our shoes. Hope and Love, Becca How is that you deal with the pre-hospital stay/surgery fears and anxieties?
I decided since yesterday Beyonce and Destiny's Child performed at the Superbowl during half time (and blew a fuse!), I would dive deep into the archives of my iPod and pick a song from Destiny's Child that I have always found inspiring to me. Yes the song is written about how she left her ex-boyfriend and doesn't need him, but there are several verses in the song that I think can apply to more than just that one situation. The song is called Survivor and I have put in bold the versus I think others will find motivating as well.
"Survivor" by Destiny's Child
Now that you're out of my life
I'm so much better
You thought that I'd be weak without you But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you But I'm richer You thought that I'd be sad without you I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you Now I'm wiser Though that I'd be helpless without you But I'm smarter
You thought that I'd be stressed without you But I'm chillin' You thought I wouldn't sell without you Sold 9 million I'm a survivor (What?) I'm not goin' give up (What?) I'm not goin' stop (What?) I'm goin' work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin'na make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?) I'm not goin' give up (What?) I'm not goin' stop (What?) I'm goin' work harder (What?) I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin' make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?)
Thought I couldn't breathe without you I'm inhaling You thought I couldn't see without you Perfect vision
You thought I couldn't last without you But I'm lastin' You thought that I would die without you But I'm livin' Thought that I would fail without you But I'm on top Thought it would be over by now But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct But I'm still here Even in my years to come I'm still goin' be here I'm a survivor (What?) I'm not goin' give up (What?) I'm not goin' stop (What?) I'm goin' work harder (What?) I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin'na make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?) I'm a survivor (What?) I'm not goin' give up (What?) I'm not goin' stop (What?) I'm goin' work harder (What?) I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin'na make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?) I'm wishin' you the best Pray that you are blessed Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness (I'm better than that)
I'm not goin' blast you on the radio (I'm better than that) I'm not goin' lie on you and your family (I'm better than that)
I'm not goin' hate on you in the magazines ('m better than that) I'm not goin' compromise my Christianity (I'm better than that)
You know I'm not goin' diss you on the internet 'Cause my mama taught me better than that I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin'na make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?) I'm a survivor (What?) I'm not goin' give up (What?) I'm not goin' stop (What?) I'm goin' work harder (What?) I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin' make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?)
Oh (oh) oh (oh)... After of all of the darkness and sadness Soon comes happiness If I surround my self with positive things I'll gain prosperity
I'm a survivor (What?) I'm not goin' give up (What?) I'm not goin' stop (What?) I'm goin' work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?) I'm goin' make it (What?) I will survive (What?) Keep on survivin' (What?)
Just a quick message to let you all know that the Comments section of my blog has stopped working. I just now realized this when I went to my template page and decided to try something new for my Twitter feed gadget. So I have no idea how long my comments section hasn't been working for, but until Blogspot figures out what is wrong, I added a Guestbook gadget instead. So feel free to leave your comments below!! I am still working on making it look pretty and fit the theme, but the commenting feature works on it.
My name is Becca and I am 25 years old. I was born with Tretralogy of Fallot, Pulmonary Atresia and Pulmonary Hypertension. Some day, I will need a heart-lung transplant.
I hope that with this blog I can help others know that they are not alone through whatever struggles they may face and I hope to inspire others to stand up and make a positive difference in this world.
