Can I Just Be Better Already?

I've been home for about a month or so now, but I am not back to my normal. I am still on oxygen 24/7 and having chest pain with activity. I am not a patient person (like at all) so I am getting more and more disheartened with everyday that goes by that I don't feel better. I am scared of over doing it and pushing my recovery back even more, so I have been limiting my social life - which isn't helping my depression. I am an extrovert, I get my energy from those around me and by being around people... but it's hard to get that energy when you keep yourself in your home pretty much every day all day. It is hard to feel like I'm truly home when I am not back to my normal routine or my normal self. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo; I'm out of the hospital but I don't feel like I'm completely out and back home. 

Tomorrow my mom, dad and I are going up to California for a doctor's appointment and to get my pacemaker optimized. I am hoping that by getting that done I will start to feel better, maybe not have as much chest pain with activity - which would feel amazing! It's only a day trip, so at least I'm doing well enough to where I don't need to be there for a long time. When I get back home we are going to set up pulmonary rehab for me up at the Mayo Clinic. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm looking forward to exercising if it means my lungs will get better and I can be off of oxygen. My goal is to be off of oxygen by the end of July so I can go to camp up in Prescott. I still have time to get there, but I would much rather it happen sooner than later. 

Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers, all of your support is really appreciated. 

Hope and Love,

Becca