The Reason Why I Hate Being Sick - I Wish It Was Simple

When I was younger, around elementary school age, I hated having a heart condition and a lung disease. I hated it because I couldn't run or keep up with the other kids at recess. I hated it because during recess, I wasn't able to play kick ball or basketball. 

Then I got a bit older, into the pre-teen stage and I hated having a heart condition and a lung disease for a different reason. I hated how my scar looked. I hated the stares I would get. I felt ugly. I felt like I wasn't girly enough or feminine enough because of the scar in the middle of my chest. I felt like no guy would ever find me attractive because of the big pink scar. I hated having CHD and PH because of the scars. 

Then I got a little older, and I was able to realize that my scar didn't make me ugly nor was my scar ugly. But I started to hate having CHD and PH for a different reason. No more roller coasters and a low salt diet. I was so angry at my doctor. I blamed him for taking those things away from me. Still to this day, I go to a theme park or a carnival and there is a pang of sadness when I see other people screaming their heads off on a roller coaster and I keep thinking 'Someday... someday when I get my transplant, I'll be able to do that again.' 

But I have grown up since then and I no longer hate having CHD and PH for those reasons. Now my reasoning for hating having CHD and PH are more realistic, mature and very scary. Insurance. I hate having CHD and PH because of the battle with the insurance company to get my doctor visits approved. I hate having CHD and PH because of all the work my mom and dad have to do just to get the insurance company to approve one doctor visit. I hate having these illnesses because I worry what it might do to my dad's small business if he decides to put me on his own insurance plan. There are times when I miss the old reasons why I hated being sick. Looking back now, they were so much simpler and less daunting than insurance. 

There is a part of me that wishes I was not an adult and instead a kid once more, so I wouldn't have to worry or even be aware of the insurance problems. But I'm an adult now and I am aware of the insurance problems, and it terrifies me. 

Hope and Love,

Becca

What are the reasons you hate having a chronic or terminal illness?

What are the reasons why you hate that your child has a chronic or terminal illness? 

Share Your Story!

Dear Readers, 

I am on the e-mail list for Photobucket which is an online free photo editing site where you can upload your pictures, edit them and share them with others. Its an amazing site and I have found some amazing photos that are beautiful on there. Although I myself am not a very good photographer and don't really have the patience to get any better - I thought some of you might like to share your story through photos on this site. 

Photobucket is holding a Stories Contest called 'Life is an Adventure' and the winner will get $25,000! There is no limit to how many stories you can enter - but each story should be different as should the pictures. I thought that through this contest we could help share our stories of survival, triumph and hope. Help spread awareness about CHD, PH or any other illness you feel strongly about.

If you want some more information, go here. Please note though - all photos must be your own!

If you aren't a good photgrapher (like myself!) feel free to comment below though and share your stories of adventure, survival and hope!

Hope and Love,
Becca

Spreading Awareness, All the Way to Germany!

Hey guys,

I am honored and so excited to tell you guys that a blog for people with Congenital Heart Defects has in Germany asked to use one of my past articles for their own blog. After corresponding for a few days back and forth, the article was published on its site just a few days ago. I posted a link to their website on my 'Favorite Links' section of my blog, so feel free to check it out! 

This is also exciting for me because I got to meet yet another person who has a congenital heart defect and the same lung disease I have, Pulmonary Hypertension. If that wasn't cool enough, she also has a pacemaker like me! I have met a lot of people who have pacemakers, sure. But none of them have had PH like I do! I thought I was the only PH patient who had one! 

It is amazing how the world can be so big but the internet can make it so small and you can meet and connect with people from all different countries that you otherwise wouldn't have even known existed! The written word can bring hope to the world and change. And know, its also brought me a new friend; all the way from Germany! Just another reason why I love to write and will continue to do so. 

Hope and Love,

Becca 

P.S. If you want to read my article on their website you can go here: Corience.