The Spring Break Curse

Hey Readers,

It seems as if the past 2 Spring Breaks I've had do not go my way, at all. Last year when I got the battery of my pacemaker/defibulator replaced over Spring Break, I was supposed to be home in 2 days or so. Well things did not go as planned and long story short, I had complications the moment they put me under anesthesia and afterwards I was having a new kind of arrhythmia problem. 

Fast forward to this Spring Break, I was supposed to have a camp out tonight in my backyard and possibly see a movie tomorrow night with a bunch of friends. But my health really likes getting in the way of my plans. Saturday I was starting to not feel well at all, I ached everywhere and just felt exhausted. So I went to bed early that night and when I woke up on Sunday I felt even worse, with a temperature, stuffy nose and what I call "junky" lungs. I had a performance for my Sign Language group on Sunday and despite having a fever and feeling awful, I went, not wanting to let my group down. Now here I am on a Thursday - still sick. My lungs are feeling better but I still have a stuffed up nose and a sinus headache. I sadly had to re-schedule the camping in my backyard party to next Friday, which I hope people will still be able to attend. 

My mom and I both agree that it is better that I get sick over Spring Break, so I can get better in time for school and not miss any. But still, it'd be nice if I'd be able to have at least one Spring Break while I'm in a college that is fun and filled with friends and I hanging out. My goal for next Spring Break, I just don't want to be sick during it! Just be a normal college student on Spring Break would be a great change!  

Hope and Love,

Becca 

Sorry for the Slow Update

Hey everyone,

Sorry it has been a while since I lasted posted. Things have gotten a little crazy and busy with me, especially with my health. Let me just catch you up on what has been going on with me.


So a week ago tomorrow I boarded a plane for California to have my pacemaker/defibulator replaced along with having a heart cath on Thursday. Wednesday was spent in the doctor's office, talking about the procedure, doing pre-op tests and all that sort of stuff. When we finished there we went to see Circus De Soleil, 'Totem.' It was simply amazing. And to top off the night, one of the ushers offered me a booster seat to sit on for kids 12 and under... Haha. We got a good laugh and a few good pictures too.


Well Thursday came and I wasn't too worried. I figured it would just be a pretty quick procedure and I'd get out by Saturday without too many complications. And of course, it didn't go as planned. Apparently once I was under anesthesia, I started to have an asthma attack and the doctor was having a hard time keeping my breathing alright. The ability for my heart to pump out blood was not very good and is also elevated. However they aren't sure if these problems were caused by my lung disease (PH) or if it is a combination of the salt I ate the night before or asthma. So within a month or so they want me to have a CT scan to re-check those numbers and see if they have changed. Which means, I am going to be keeping my lungs as in check as possible and also keep to my low salt diet and hopefully see that those numbers have gotten better.


While I was in the hospital I also started having some more irregular heart beats. The doctors aren't sure why this all started. At first they thought it was because of the asthma medicine they had given me but we had stopped giving that medication for a day or so and the irregular heart beats were still there. They are starting me back on some heavy duty anti-arrhythmia drugs and will wean me off of those because the medication can cause problems for my Thyroid and in the long run can hurt my lungs. They are hoping that maybe just the stress of the procedure was all that caused this and that it isn't anything new we have to worry about.


On top of that, the site of where I got my pacemaker/defibulator put in got swollen with a pocket of blood so they had to put a pressure bandage on the site for two days. The pressure bandage at first really helped with the pain. It actually felt better to have the pressure bandage on then without it at first, but then my body started to have a reaction to the tape and now the top layer of my skin right under my armpit has been peeled off. It hurts to lift my arm because the pacemaker/defibulator just got put in and the skin under my armpit is very sore from the bandage. However, I can still use my right arm and hand. Too bad I am left-handed and not right. Haha. I am hoping that within a few days though, the skin on my armpit will have healed a bit more and I can move my arm a bit more freely.


I can honestly say that this is not how I pictured spending my first college Spring Break. It has only been a week since I have been home but it feels like a lifetime. I had been worried about having to stay longer than planned and missing out on life. Thankfully I didn't miss as much as I have in the past when I have been hospitalized before, but it is still hard. Lately I have felt so healthy, so normal and now I feel so tired and drained. I know that I'll get my energy back up soon once my body starts to heal, I just hate having to wait. I'm not very patient person and I am already so tired of being weak and sore from this surgery. Just want to get back to my life and start to feel like I did before the surgery. Normal.


Thank you all for your prayers and love, I really appreciate it. I couldn't do this without you guys!
Love,
Becca

Want to go Home

Hey guys,

Today I leave for California around 6 pm. The original plan was to have me home by Saturday at some point since my surgery was on Thursday. But my mom got an e-mail from the doctor today and she said that they want me to stay even longer. I have to spend the night on Saturday (not sure if its in the hospital or just in town.) because they want to make sure I am doing okay. I haven't even left yet and I already come home... I'm not ready for this surgery. Not ready and I don't want it. I put off packing my airplane bag until today. I keep thinking maybe if I don't pack or if I put off packing till the last minute, we won't go. But I know that won't happen. 


I'm not scared of dying because I really don't think I will. I'm scared of something going wrong and I'll have to stay there even longer than we planned. I'm scared of missing out on life again. Sixth and eighth grade I was really sick and I was in and out of the hospital so much during that time. I missed out on life and now that I am healthy, I don't want to go back to that. I feel so great that I hate even the idea of being cooped up in a hospital room. I have a job, I am in school, I have a life. I don't want to miss out on that even for a few days. I feel so normal,why can't my health just let me feel that way and leave me alone? 


Dreading Leaving, 
Becca