While I am reassured that the doctors are capable of taking care of me, this does not get rid of all the anxiety and worry. Even if I'm having the best of the best work on me, something could still go wrong. My body could still decide to go into V-Tack or have an asthma attack like it did a few years ago during a cath. But I do feel better about them being able to take care of me, should any of those things happen.
I just don't like having to go to a new place. LPCH is my home. I know everyone there. I feel comfortable there. They have all played a significant role in my life over the past nine years of my life and keeping me alive. It has taken time to get as comfortable as I am with them and even longer for me to trust them. I don't want to have to start all over again. I don't want to have to rehash all my medical history when I could go to some place that already knows it all and was even there for a majority of it. I was relieved to find out that the cath will be done on the children's side, which makes me feel more comfortable. I've heard stories about the adult side of hospitals not being as understanding and just expecting patients to "deal with it." I "deal with it" pretty well, but its always nice to be in a place that is understanding and comforting.
Today I went to Target and bought too much stuff, but its all for Hawaii. Only a week and a half left! I've got a whole list of books I want to read over this summer and I'll be doing a lot of traveling. All of these things, I hope, will keep my mind off of this evaluation. But until my evaluation, at least I have some reassurance from my doctors that Pittsburgh is a good place to go.
Hope and Love,