In 2014 I got really sick with A-Fib, to the point where they thought they might have to shock my heart for the first time. I had to withdraw from school just a few weeks before finals and then take the Spring Semester off while I recovered. I got turned down by 3 hospitals when it came to my transplant and whether or not they felt they could do it. I got pneumonia and ended up in the hospital just a few days after getting home from Pittsburgh where I had undergone several days of tests and doctor appointments.
But in between all of those hard times I had some amazingly fun ones too. I went to Disneyland with some of my best friends. In summer we traveled to Hawaii for the first time. I got see an amazing musical called 'Kinky Boots'. I discovered just how much I was cared for and loved when a team of family members and friends started my transplant fundraiser and I saw just how many people donated to that cause. I was finally able to go back to school and get A's in both classes. I found out that if I pass my math class in the Spring, I'll be able to graduate from community college and transfer to a university. I lost a lot of much needed water weight and have done well keeping it off.
There was a lot of stress and crying this year for me, but thankfully it was followed by smiles and laughter. I know my mom is worried about Pittsburgh because I've been sleeping a lot more lately. But despite my cold right now, I feel pretty good. I keep telling her not to worry about my sleeping and that it has nothing to do with my heart function. It simply because I stay up way too late on my computer, so I sleep a lot during the day, which means I'm not tired at night. So I've decided that my New Year's Resolution is to go to bed at a reasonable hour. No later than 10:30 on school nights for me. I really don't think it has to do with my heart function, and I'm hoping that if I start to go to bed early, it'll help me not need so many naps during the day.
I know a lot of people are worried about me and while I'm not worried per say - I'm scared. I'm scared that the tests are going to show I'm getting worse even though I feel fine. I'm scared of what the doctors are going to say. I'm scared I'll have to move sooner than I am ready to. I feel fine and I'm scared that even though I feel like my quality of life is good, I'm still going to have to move and get a procedure I'm not ready for just yet.
So 2015, I'm a little scared of you. But I'm also excited for you because it's one more year I've lived to see. I'm going to make memories, smiles and laughs. I'll probably cry and get stressed too. I just hope that part is a lot smaller than it was in 2014.
Hope and Love,